Our Visit to the Public Library

Took the kids to the public library this morning to check out a few books and drop in on their "Story Time."

Why it was 400 degrees in the basement where they have the kid's section, I'll never quite understand, but the kids enjoyed it anyway.

So, You've Been Invited to a Baby Shower

It happens.  One day you're sitting at home, minding your own business, and one of your friends goes and gets themselves pregnant.

Your first reaction will probably be something like, "Wait, they're going to have a baby?  Oi!"

That's perfectly normal.  Everyone knows that no one else is capable of taking care of a baby like you and probably shouldn't even bother, even though you don't have any kids yet.  Duh.  This reaction is especially normal if the "they" in question are also applying to be on the show '16 and Pregnant.'

More likely "they" are an older, established couple that you're pretty sure would forget their heads somewhere if they weren't attached to their bodies and who probably live a lifestyle that is completely inappropriate for pregnancy and child-rearing.  Regardless, they've got a bun in the old oven and two thoughts cross your mind:

1) All of my friends are having babies, I am officially getting old.

2) What thoughtful, creative gift should I get them for the baby?

I can't help you with the first one because, yeah, you are getting old (sucks, don't it?), but I do have some insight into the second one.

Bad Words

I've been known in the past to say that I didn't believe that there are any "bad" words.  I've long held that there is nothing inherently "wrong" or "bad" with certain four-letter words other than that we're told from a young age that there is, and we just accept that as fact and do our best to not get caught by our parents saying them.  

The Apple and the 3-year-old

This is the story of a little girl and her desire to eat an apple at breakfast.

To be sure she'd already eaten a pretty good breakfast, so I was a little surprised when she asked for some apple too, but who am I to deny someone so cute something so healthy?

It was at that moment, the exact moment that I innocently approved her request, that our tale begins.

It's a Strange Love or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Minivan

About a year ago we were in the market for a new car.  We were in a good place in that we didn't need a new car desperately, and so we could take our time and research different makes and models and shop around for the best deal.

At the time we were a family of four and had just an SUV.  It was big enough to hold us, the family shedding machine dog and even all of the insane amount of stuff we had to pack for the kids for even an overnight trip somewhere (though not by much, it required some serious Tetris/Jenga skills), but we realized that with Ethan heading to school in the fall, the lack of a second vehicle was going to create some logistical problems.  So we drew up a wish list and started looking.

On fatherhood

With Father's Day coming up I've been doing a lot of thinking about dads, and parenthood in general.

When I was younger I never really wanted to have children.  I've always liked kids and they've always seemed to like me--I would usually become the de facto babysitter/jungle gym at any kind of barbecue or birthday party or other event I attended that had kids present, and I never really minded that, but I always thought that the best part of that gig was that at the end of the day their parents would come to scoop them up and take them away and I could go back to the "real" world.  A world that involved a lot fewer runny noses and dirty diapers and a lot more free time and beer.

Parenthood was one of those things that happened to other people.  Crazy people.  I mean, who the heck would want a baby cramping their style and pooping all over the place? 

My 9-month-old: Super Villain

It's taken me 9 long months to uncover his dastardly plan, and I bring great peril upon myself to warn the outside world, but it's too late for me and I have to warn the rest of the world: my son Zachary is an evil supervillain.

He may just be the evilest of supervillains to ever villainize, super or otherwise.

Oh sure he looks cute, but that's just part of his supervillain disguise. It throws you off. Disarms you. "How could such a cute, innocent baby ever be the most dastardly villain the Earth has ever seen?" you ask no one in particular, and somewhere Damien and Rosemary's kid give each other a high five and laugh their evil laughs, smirking knowingly.